2012-09-20 12:58:45

He won’t be the brightest, but he’ll be the whitest



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Good morning! Here is the newest political parody from Randy Newman, who I already loved because of Toy Story, but who just won my heart all over again with this one. “I’m Dreaming of a White President” is the pretty great way to start your Thursday morning. Lyrics are below the jump.




George Washington was a white man

Adams and Jefferson too

Abe Lincoln was a white man, probably

And William McKinley the whitest of them all

Was shot down by an immigrant in Buffalo 

And a star fell out of heaven


I’m dreaming of a white President

Just like the ones we’ve always had

A real live white man

Who knows the score

How to handle money or start a war

Wouldn’t even have to tell me what we were fighting for

He’d be the right man

If he were a


I’m dreaming of a white President

Someone whom we can understand

Someone who knows where we’re coming from

And that the law of the jungle is not the law of this land


In deepest darkest Africa nineteen three

A little boy says, “Daddy, I just discovered relativity. 

A big eclipse is coming 

And I’ll prove it. Wait and see!”


“You better eclipse yourself outta here, son

And find yourself a tree

There’s a lion in the front yard

And he knows he won’t catch me.”


How many little Albert Einsteins

Cut down in their prime?

How many little Ronald Reagans

Gobbled up before their time?


I don’t believe in evolution

But it does occur to me,

What if little William Howard Taft had to face a lion

Or God forbid, climb a tree?

Where would this country be?


I’m dreaming of a white President

Buh buh buh buh

‘Cause things have never been this bad

So he won’t run the hundred in ten seconds flat

So he won’t have a pretty jump shot

Or be an Olympic acrobat

So he won’t know much about global warming

Is that really where you’re at?

He won’t be the brightest, perhaps

But he’ll be the whitest

And I’ll vote for that


Whiter than this?

Yes

Whiter than this?

Yes

Whiter than this?

Yes

Whiter than this?

Oh yeah




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